somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
