I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
