Please, let me fuck your mom
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
