So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
