i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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