See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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