Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
