Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
