We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
