do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize