his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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