2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
