the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
