Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
