Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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