Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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