The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
