just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
