Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
