I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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