yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The air was thick with penises
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
