absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
