I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
