if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
