We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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