batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
