i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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