I wish life had little blips of pornography
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
