Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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