ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
