Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
