The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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