whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
