Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
