Dual....:-)
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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