Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
