hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
