i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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