I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
