I wish life had little blips of pornography
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
