i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
