Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
