soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
