oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
