True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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