is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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