Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
