I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
