Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think a kid would responsible me up
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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