Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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